Thursday, November 15, 2012


Yesterday I did something through Facebook that I've never done before. And no, it wasn't labelling my boobs "Dorothy" and "Sophia" in a NSFW photo (yawn, been there, done that). I made an invitation for our housewarming party!

While it might not seem momentous, aside from birthday parties when I was younger, this will be the first party I've ever hosted. Like, ever-ever. Ever. And even then, let's face it, my ma was much more in charge of the actual inviting/feeding/fun times than I was. I could have been replaced by a screaming monkey who gobbles up cake and rips paper and no one would have been the wiser. But I digress.

Growing up, non-birthday parties were the kind of thing that people on tv went to. They were full of pumping music, free-flowing drinks and high-drama hookups and breakups. I mean, sure, I went to my share of parties in high school but they were largely cast parties from plays or "parents-are-out-let's-cause-havoc" affairs at *other* people's houses, and were often of overindulgence, poor decision making and, inevitably, broken things. They didn't exactly fill me with envy. Come on, we all know what happens when teens throw a party. And at the end of the day, my mother owned breakables and our largest window was actually a very heavy screen door so I didn't need the school bully getting thrown through it right before the food fight broke out thankyouverymuch.

My last place was too small for more than 5 or 6 people at a time so I rarely invited anyone there either. Now, our current place isn't exactly a mansion but it can seat about 15 people in various places if it needs to,  plus it has parking and it's a single so less worries about noise, so we decided now's the time - let's do this* Besides, it seems like bad luck not to ring the girl in with a little festivity.

Also, *looks around shiftily* just between you and me? I love the fuck outta Christmas. Not the day so much but the lead up? I'm all over it. Decorations, tv specials, getting all cozy and shit while you look at the tree? All over it. So by throwing our little shindig in December I get to hit two birds with one stone. The only downside is that we won't be able to buy our new couch in time for the party (but our old one does have more room so we cool) and the smallish space of our place means that the guest list has to be a little more exclusive than I would have liked (humblebrag: I've got, like, a million friends. They're all super famous).

I'm already making lists of things we need to buy (EGG NOG!!) and do (1) GET RID OF TWO OF OUR THREE VACUUMS! 2) VACUUM!) - which is fun because I secretly love making to-do lists -and getting nervous that our party will be lame or boring or overcrowded or underattended. We have friends from different backgrounds all getting together and even that's a little nerve-wracking even though everyone's awesome. I basically want them to real-life Pin this party. Which is the saddest thing I've ever admitted in my whole life. Just crossing my fingers, hoping it all works out..And that those jerks from Sigma Delta Phi don't crash the party and ruin it.

*said in Leroy Jenkins voice

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