Showing posts with label At Least I've Got My Cooking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label At Least I've Got My Cooking. Show all posts

Monday, July 22, 2013

At Lease I've Got My Cooking: Fancy-Ass, Grownup-As-Hell Mojito Jello Shots

So as I said in my last entry, it was my birthday at the beginning of this month. And yes, Nosey Parker, I turned 31 years old, which is not the new 21 but is, in fact, still pretty great. As I mentioned, I'm not much bothered by aging, though the esthetician charged with waxing me last week swore that I looked much much younger, which, I'll admit, is a comfort. Thanks, Brittany.

To celebrate, I threw my first birthday party in at least a decade at the delightful casa de Sparta (our humble abode)*. I was reading about tips to make an outdoor party a success and came across a great list of rules that can apply to any party. I regrettably forget the website, but by far my favourite suggestion was to only make what you really love and buy everything else. I'd add to that: buy stuff that requires no prep wherever you can. Last party I made 2 hot dips, 1 cold dip, hot appetizers, cheese plate, punch, the whole deal. I didn't do any prep the day before so I spent the day of the shindig running around crazily, trying to time everything perfectly and ending up incredibly stressed out, to the point that I failed to pay attention while making the guacamole and sliced right through my thumb an hour before everyone arrived. This led to an overly-maddening last minute dash to finish everything without the use of my left hand, as well as the invention of at least 3 new swear words ("fucktumbler" was the stand-out)

This time around I decided to play it cool(er). My sister made posh cucumber sandwiches (which were so good that I instantly gave birth to the Royal Baby) and sangria (she's the sangria whisperer) and I made guacamole (cruelty free, this time) and smoked salmon dip (insanely easy and amazing). I had planned on buying mini cupcakes from one of the stores in town but that turned out to be one of those things I should have done ahead and instead resulted in me taking the bus to three different shops before I said "eff it" and made a dozen cherry chip cupcakes with cream cheese icing an hour before showtime. Faboo! I cut up some cheese, put some veggies on a tray, tossed out some crackers and chips, bought a 2-4, made mojito Jello shots and called it a day.

<record scratch>

Say what? Mojito Jello shots?

Oh yes, son.

I took my recipe from this fabulous website and I have to say - it turned out really well. I kind of want to make this my signature dish. Meatloaf be damned.

How we do?

Ingredients:
6 limes
12-15 Mint leaves of average size
6 tablespoons of sugar
1/4 c. of water
3 tablespoons fresh lime juice
1 package of gelatin
1/2 c. of rum (I used a dark rum because it's what I had on hand, but I suspect a light rum would produce a clearer colour of "Jello")
1/2 c. sparkling water or club soda (I used lime Perrier). You could use still water too, in a pinch.

Tips N Tricks:

We began this process the night before the party (starting at 11:30 to be exact. Great time to try new things. Always.), in order to give the gelatin time to set. This isn't a "oh my god, I have to bring something to this bachelorette party and I only have an hour!" kind of thing. A bottle of Skinny Girl margarita mix is probably a better bet in that case.

I put the finished lime halves in an empty egg carton I had reserved for just this task. This way, any spillover was just fine - there was no "drip-through" and we recycled the egg carton when we were done with it. The webpage I linked to above uses a muffin tin with crumpled up foil inside the cups - I suspect that would do just fine as well.

If you're using fresh mint from your garden (this girl was), make sure you don't pick the mint leaves for garnish too early - they'll wilt after a couple of hours. Ask me how I know.

Break it Down:

1. Cut the limes in half lengthwise and scoop out their innards. Reserve the juicy lime innards and liquid in a bowl.

The most time-consuming part of this recipe is hollowing out the limes. We had three people on the task and it probably took 30-45 minutes for 6 limes. Bonus: you find out pretty immediately if you have any existing cuts on your fingers! What fun! I don't own a grapefruit spoon, but I bet it would be an awesome tool to have here. As it was, we used steak knives and soup spoons to do our carving. Flipping the almost-empty lime halves inside-out and scraping them with the spoon seemed to work well to get the last of it out. Don't worry if you can't get every bit out - it's fine. Make sure not to damage the lime peels too much - these are your showstoppers in this recipe, after all.

2. Wash the emptied lime halves and dry them lightly with a paper towel. Place the fruit cut-side up in your 'holder'.

3. In a small saucepan, combine the 12-15 mint leaves and the sugar. Muddle the hell out of it with a wooden spoon (or if you're some kind of domestic god/dess, use your fancy muddler). I used 12 leaves and I thought the end result could've used more mint, so next time I'd use 15 or so.

4. Add the quarter cup of water and the lime juice. I guess you could be fancy about straining out the pulp at this stage, but I just took a couple of spoonfuls from the bowl of lime innards. The shots still came out pretty damn clear.

5. Sprinkle the gelatin package over the top and let it sit there for a minute or so. Turn the stove on low and stir until the gelatin disappears, about 5-10 minutes.

6. Pour the liquid through a strainer into a container with a spout - I used a 4-cup Pyrex measuring cup. The strainer will get the lion's share of the mint and lime pulp.

7. Add the rum and sparkling water to the mixture and stir.

8. Pour the finished product into the lime halves, filling them to the top. I had a little more liquid than needed for the 6 limes/12 lime halves.

9. Carefully move your little beauties into the fridge. I left them there overnight so there'd be no last minute freakouts, but my (admittedly limited) experience with gelatin makes me think that 4 hours should be sufficient.

10. Carefully slice the lime wedges in half. I had thought I might do them in thirds but frankly, this size looked better.

11. If you're into garnishing, take the small mint leaves and affix them to the side of each shot.

12. Place on tray, serve, get daintily crunked.


The final result. I realize the plating is somewhat lacking but if you knew how I lived normally,
you'd be mega-impressed right now.


Final tip? Make sure to tell everyone that these are awesome "Jello" shots otherwise everyone will just quietly stare at them, thinking they're just a tray full of lime wedges and judge you for being a citrus-obsessed weirdo.

Enjoy, grown-up-fancy-ass-you!

*One guess which one of us gave it that name. One.

Monday, April 8, 2013

At Least I've Got My Cooking: Comforting Puff Pastry Apple Thing

Literally less than an hour after I posted that last entry, all cheery and warmed and ready for the healing power of Mother Spring, I was howling in pain, clutching my hand and cursing everything I had ever cared for and anything anyone had ever loved.

Son of a bee-sting.

I was trying to be "green", for what it's worth. For two weeks I'd looked at this one, lonely apple sitting in my fruit bowl, steadfastedly refusing to go rotten, yet allowing its once-taught skin to grow slightly more saggy and wrinkled over time (we've all been there, apple, amiright?). "Forget that," I thought, "let's make you into something unhealthy!

I got together:

Half a sheet of puff pastry
One (1) sad-ass looking apple
1/3 of a block of low-fat cream cheese
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/8 c. of icing sugar
1/2 tsp of lemon juice

1. Forget to defrost the puff pastry for days at a time, cursing under your breath every day that you do. Finally remember to stick it in the fridge overnight. Declare victory over your own brains.

2. Cut the puff pastry in half (or use the whole thing and double the recipe - who am I, your mother?), pre-heat your oven to 350.

3. Mix together the icing sugar, cream cheese, cinnamon and lemon juice in a bowl until (mostly) smooth. I used low fat so it didn't cream as much as I wanted. I heated it up in a microwave beforehand, that kind of helped. I would have stirred it more rapidly and for longer but.. well, read ahead. Didn't really have my usual dexterity at my disposal.

4. Begin to peel the apple. Congratulate yourself on refusing to throw out less-than-stellar produce. While smugly smiling to yourself, jam the peeler back into your middle finger (yes, your favourite one) and whimper like a scolded puppy. Very quietly ask for Percocet, some gauze and a roll of medical tape. Settle for 3 migraine-strength tylenol, a paper towel and some duct tape.

5. Wonder why it doesn't hurt yet.

6. Stop wondering.

7. Make pathetic noises as you look at your once manicure-ready finger, now sporting a fingernail cracked about a third of the way down, exposing the skin underneath the nail and bleeding like it has something to prove.

8. Allow your partner to bandage you up, wincing and sucking air through your teeth the whole time. Get sweaty.

9. Beg your partner to finish the recipe which you now hate more than anything you have ever hated in your life. More than Glenn Beck. More than centipedes. Okay, not more than centipedes. Get him to peel the (stupid) apple and chop it into 1/2 inch cubes.

10. Place the (dumb) apple pieces and the cream cheese mixture in the middle of the puff pastry square, fold the pastry into the centre to make a "package" and bake for 30 minutes.

11. Allow to cool for 2-3 minutes and then (begrudgingly) serve while sniffling.

12. Voila.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

At Least I've Got My Cooking: Mostly Carrot Soup

Yesterday started and ended like I imagine the alternate universe-me (the one who wears aprons and keeps an immaculate home and cooks sumptuous meals) would have approved of. I got up early enough (or he got up late enough) that The Boy and I could walk to work together for about 5 minutes. It was actually a really nice way to start the day (awwww! vomit!). After work we decided to get totally crazy and make something for dinner instead of the seafood-sauce-on-a-saltine delicacy that I was chomping on (no word of a lie: actually ate this) (I call it a Triple-S). I am not at all an expert in cook-ing (am I pronouncing that correctly?) but I am pretty damn impressed with the results of this one. So because I am a giving sort, I will share with you my recipe.

Step 1: Chill can of Coke Zero

Step 2: With tab facing away from you, pull towards self.

Step 3: Consume God's nectar.

Hahahaha. Smart ass.

So yes, the soup. I don't really do recipes so as a general rule if you look at something and think "hey.. could I substitute _________ with _________?" or "can I add more of _______ or less of _________"  the answer is almost always: yes. This is just how I made this particular dish. You go crazy with yourself when you make it, but I'ma do me.

Mostly Carrot Soup

2 Tbsp butter
4-8 carrots (I used the small colourful ones from the farmer's market because I think I'm better than you, and thus used 8 smallish ones. If you're buying your supermarket variety, go closer to four)
3 mini-ish potatoes
2 stalks celery
2 small shallots
2 large cloves of garlic
4 cups (1 carton) of chicken broth
2 cups water
1/2 cup 1/2 and 1/2 (that many 1/2s looks funny)
Dill (I used the squirtable kind - hilarious and convenient!)
1/4 tsp cumin
Couple of shakes of jalapeno hot sauce (totally optional)
1/2 tsp curry powder
1/2 cup of corn (I used frozen, without thawing)
Salt and Pepper to taste


  • Now let's be clear: I AM NO EXPERT. Seriously. I love to eat but basically I'm a huge fraud as an adult. I precooked the carrots and the potatoes in the micro for about 8 minutes but if you have a better method to make carrots soft, have at it.  
  • While your carrots/potatoes are precooking, place the butter, garlic, onions and celery in a large pot on medium heat. Wait until the onions get kind of translucent then add in the carrots and potatoes. 
  • Once the vegetables get soft  (about 5-10 minutes), add in the broth and the spices. Bring the whole mess to a boil and then turn the heat down. 
  • At this point I got myself out my hand blender and really had at it. I left some pieces of vegetables so it didn't have that overly-pureed "Soup Night at Shady Acres Home for Invalids" feel. 
  • Turn down the heat and simmer for 10-15 minutes
  • Add in the 1/2 and 1/2 and the corn and stir, simmering again.   (really, soup can only get better as it simmers so go to town)
  • Eat the hell out of that shit.

I really like how this turned out. Warm, comforting, with a little bit of spice. And if I can do it, you can do it. Seriously. I can't stress that enough.