Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Autumn-eroticism

A Fall treat, in that it will cause you to "fall" into a diabetic coma.
Man, are bloggers ever horny for autumn. The last pair of white denim cutoffs gets put into storage after Labour Day and .. bam. It begins: pictures of pugs dressed up as bumblebees, hipsters switching out their "mojito-inspired" cocktails for some kind of Mayan hot chocolate spice shit, reasonable, level-headed people manage to publish entire 500-word missives detailing their love of all things burnt orange and cinnamoned. Unreal. I mean, it makes sense - fall is the perfect time for plaid and wool blankets and layering and a million other things beloved by bloggers. Besides, at least in this part of the world, it's freaking pretty. But still, people. Get it together. It's like they're obsessed. It's almost as though the season is so damned beautiful that it makes someone lose their mind temporarily as they gaze upon the utter beauty that is the changing, forever marching passage of time as personified by Gaia, the spirit Mother who..

And what the hell is this? A "mum-kin"?! Why did I buy this??
(Please at least try to ignore the massive jug of wine in the background)
Okay. Guilty. I love the hell out of Autumn. It's totally the best and if I had any stick-with-it-ness or ability to craft you'd all be getting DIY tips on making ghost pillowcases and apple-honey oatmeal. Luckily for you, I'm lazy and talentless.

Lately, I've been thinking about what it will be like to live in a city that doesn't have such an obvious change of seasons. My work requires that I move around a bit every few years and, while I haven't had the pleasure yet, it's only a matter of time before I have to move on to (given my latitude, probably literally) greener pastures. And I don't know, man. People like to crap on this city (after living downtown for a few years I now know that can also be taken literally) but I think it's tops.

Beautiful enough to give you chest flushes
and butt tingles, am I right?
And I don't know what I'm going to do without that chill in the air, that feeling like things are quieting down, that smell of fire and slight decay and home cooking as I walk through the neighbourhood, leaves crunching satisfyingly beneath my moccasins as I..

.. must.. post... homemade.. scarecrow.. teapot.. DIY...

Phew! Okay, better.

So for now I'm trying to enjoy every moment of "fall-ness", every blessed apple-cider soaked ounce of it all. Especially because it comes on the heels of a new place to decorate and a new roomie to share walks and pumpkin carving and beef stews with. And we will cherish these moments because I suspect the real reason anyone could ever dislike Autumn is because it runs into the hellmouth that is Winter. And then? Ain't no amount of Arctic prints or fair trade hot cocoa that's gonna save you. You will sneeze and shiver and regret your way right into April, child.

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