Running on Empty

Huh. 8 days into this and I'm already out of things to talk about. So I turned to BlogHer's prompts for a little inspiration. Today's question is:


If you could have any job (and instantly have the training and qualifications to do it), which job would you want? 

I literally typed in "wealthy retiree" to Google Image
Search and this is the first hit. We ballin' barefoot.

Okee dokee, I pick... wealthy retiree.

Oh, fine.


Okay, if that's not an option, I'd probably want to be a host of some travel show/eat your face off combo program. Good food, lots of travel, modicum of fame, decent money, and, due to the relatively specific audience of a travel show, you probably wouldn't get too many YouTube commenters calling you a "landwhale" or telling you "tits or GTFO". This is my perfect storm of good job.

Side note: Did everyone in your elementary school classes claim to dream of being a marine biologist? Why was that? No, seriously. Why? Is it because basically all kids want to do all day is swim? Are they super into sharks? I have no earthly clue. I wanted to be a journalist or an actor. I don't remember ever wanting to be anything else. And through hard work, perseverance and rigid commitment to my dreams that little girl grew up to be...

... oh, right. Back to writing this briefing note.

On the plus side, I didn't think I'd live past 26 or so, so on that front, SCORE!

Thank God.

I vow not to get too political on this thing but I will just say that man alive, am I happy that last night's vote went the way it did. It is still profoundly weird to me that Canada cares as much as we do about American elections but, I suppose given its proximity to us and our close trade and political relationship, it's natural that we monitor it very closely. I'm sure they do the same for us.

Psych.

We were worried, America. While we may not be able to vote in your election your policy affects a lot more than what's inside your borders. And we were scared. But we're sorry we doubted you. Good luck to you all.

And I will also say that I'm buoyed by the gay marriage bills that were accepted in various states. I vividly remember in 2004 watching Jon Stewart go through the incoming election results and sadly pointing out how many states had struck down gay marriage as part of their vote. I had a hard time reconciling those decisions with the accepting Americans I knew. Well, I'm decidedly chuffed that just 8 years later, things are changing. As a member of a (fairly) young generation I get the impression that this support for gay marriage will only continue to grow. And really, that can't happen soon enough.

P.S. I hope Bo got extra kisses. On his face. And was held like a baby and squished against the POTUS' chest. Just how dogs like it.

At Least I've Got My Cooking: Mostly Carrot Soup

Yesterday started and ended like I imagine the alternate universe-me (the one who wears aprons and keeps an immaculate home and cooks sumptuous meals) would have approved of. I got up early enough (or he got up late enough) that The Boy and I could walk to work together for about 5 minutes. It was actually a really nice way to start the day (awwww! vomit!). After work we decided to get totally crazy and make something for dinner instead of the seafood-sauce-on-a-saltine delicacy that I was chomping on (no word of a lie: actually ate this) (I call it a Triple-S). I am not at all an expert in cook-ing (am I pronouncing that correctly?) but I am pretty damn impressed with the results of this one. So because I am a giving sort, I will share with you my recipe.

Step 1: Chill can of Coke Zero

Step 2: With tab facing away from you, pull towards self.

Step 3: Consume God's nectar.

Hahahaha. Smart ass.

So yes, the soup. I don't really do recipes so as a general rule if you look at something and think "hey.. could I substitute _________ with _________?" or "can I add more of _______ or less of _________"  the answer is almost always: yes. This is just how I made this particular dish. You go crazy with yourself when you make it, but I'ma do me.

Mostly Carrot Soup

2 Tbsp butter
4-8 carrots (I used the small colourful ones from the farmer's market because I think I'm better than you, and thus used 8 smallish ones. If you're buying your supermarket variety, go closer to four)
3 mini-ish potatoes
2 stalks celery
2 small shallots
2 large cloves of garlic
4 cups (1 carton) of chicken broth
2 cups water
1/2 cup 1/2 and 1/2 (that many 1/2s looks funny)
Dill (I used the squirtable kind - hilarious and convenient!)
1/4 tsp cumin
Couple of shakes of jalapeno hot sauce (totally optional)
1/2 tsp curry powder
1/2 cup of corn (I used frozen, without thawing)
Salt and Pepper to taste

• Now let's be clear: I AM NO EXPERT. Seriously. I love to eat but basically I'm a huge fraud as an adult. I precooked the carrots and the potatoes in the micro for about 8 minutes but if you have a better method to make carrots soft, have at it.  
• While your carrots/potatoes are precooking, place the butter, garlic, onions and celery in a large pot on medium heat. Wait until the onions get kind of translucent then add in the carrots and potatoes. 
• Once the vegetables get soft  (about 5-10 minutes), add in the broth and the spices. Bring the whole mess to a boil and then turn the heat down. 
• At this point I got myself out my hand blender and really had at it. I left some pieces of vegetables so it didn't have that overly-pureed "Soup Night at Shady Acres Home for Invalids" feel. 
• Turn down the heat and simmer for 10-15 minutes
• Add in the 1/2 and 1/2 and the corn and stir, simmering again.   (really, soup can only get better as it simmers so go to town)
• Eat the hell out of that shit.

I really like how this turned out. Warm, comforting, with a little bit of spice. And if I can do it, you can do it. Seriously. I can't stress that enough.

Pwned

This post was supposed to go up last night but technical issues stopped that from happening. So now you get two posts in a day! You lucky so-and-so!

A solid, solid weekend. I got The Boy and The Sister to use their incredible height (and their superior ability to draw/see a straight line) to my advantage and hang a few things on the wall. As I began unpacking my penultimate box, which contains all the pictures that hung in my last apartment, I realized that, between the two of us, we own quite a few Killhouettes. Which, if you know us, is a surprise to pretty much no one. We decided to hang them up in our bedroom so that we have the world's sweetest dreams!* After discovering that it was, indeed, not our level that was busted, but rather the world's slopiest-walls that made lining them up such a bitch, we stepped back to see a wonderful little collage of death. Delighted!

Buoyed by our success, we went on to hang the picture I mentioned in my last post. We also hung this beauty that I picked up in Toronto, before heading to my uncle's place for my grandpappy's 93rd birthday. I have to admit, on the way over I was feeling pretty chuffed. The ol' place was really coming together, yes indeedy. All it took was a little time, some elbow grease and about 3 dozen screws and anchors and the place really was looking like my own. Quite the little renovators, we were. Yup-a-doo.

And then I saw my uncle's basement.

Inside the sub-woofer is a genie that will grant you unlimited wishes

Goddamnit.

He had turned an unfinished basement with concrete floor, open duct work and insulation-exposed walls into a mancave worthy of even the most discerning bro.** A 60" tv with 6 speakers (each for a different "type" of sound - voices, explosions, etc. I didn't know we were this advanced already? Have I been ignoring science? Is cancer still a thing?), resting on a unit that surrounds an electric fireplace. Finished walls, dropped ceilings, pot lighting, a sound system that's been routed through upstairs and can be volume controlled by a switch in the wall,  leather couches that vibrate and massage, leather rocking chairs, gym equipment and carpet so squishy-soft I think it's made out of the front page of Cute Overload. And the kicker? He did 80% of the work down there himself. Ah well, at least I have something to aspire to, right?

Goddamnit.



*of murder

**I tried to look up a mythological creature that was half-man, half-bear in order to make a bigger joke here but all i came up with was this Yahoo! answer which is okay because I laughed pretty heartily.

DIY (The D stands for "DaylightSavingsTime"

 So a few hours late for a daily post but it's Daylight Saving Time so ... okay I'm still late. But only an hour late - suck on it, Father time! The image to your left is the sum total of my sister's and my evening. I lack the small motor skills and inordinate patience required to be a true DIYer but she's got an eye for colour and an ability to talk me down off the ledge when I get halfway through something and insist on giving up.

The credit for the idea goes to Rachel of Smile and Wave who posted her version about a year ago here. I wanted a piece of art I could make for my spare room that was a little different and kind of colourful (all the walls in my house are artisan beige). We had thought about doing a regular rectangular frame but, forever looking for a challenge, we decided to do the more complicated oval. The frame is from IKEA, the background is paint swatches and the lettering is made of felt stickers from Michael's. So for about $25 (and 3 tough-on-the-back hours) I got me a new piece of art! It looks rougher in the photo than it does in real life- it's actually pretty straight. I'm quite pleased with how it turned out, actually.

Moving is stressful and we know it'll be something we'll have to do a fair amount of times over the years. I wanted something that could move with us that would sort of embody the idea of home being wherever you hang your hat. I took the line from Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros song "Home". And yes, I know, the line most oft repeated in the chorus is "Home is wherever I'm with you" but they do say whenever... and wherever looks weird hyphenated. So there.\

And now for an extra hour of back-cracking. So satisfying.

Muzak so soothing they call it Soothzak.

Well, I'm stuck on the phone, waiting to speak with my medical coverage company in order to get them to reissue a cheque. I'm going to blog until they pick up or until my neck freezes in the crooked position and I am forced to take up work as a circus performer ("come see pug head! the girl who tilts her head like a pug!"). I've already been on hold for 10 minutes and I don't see me getting out of muzak-purgatory any time soon. It's all really old-fashioned music, too - like stuff my grandparents would've danced to - and totally instrumental. And every few seconds it cuts out, cockteasing me into believing a human might actually be coming on line. Silly human - now back to Girl from Ipanema.

Switched shoulders. Cramping badly.

It should give you a good idea of how financially well-off I am that I'm willing to waste a significant portion of my morning listening to --

OH MY GOD A HUMAN!!

Hello! Yes, that's my plan. There's a dedicated line for my plan? Oh I didn't know.  Well could you answe-- Being transferred.

Ooh! "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered". Keen.

Anyway, in the craziness of moving I managed to misplace three cheques - one from the City (since found and cashed), one from the medical coverage company and one for my last month's rent on my apartment. As we covered in this post, I am to losing things what Mama June is to couponing so the fact that somehow they've gone missing should be no surprise but now that stupid house things keep coming up (did you know that it's not magic, that you actually need something called a FURNACE to heat a house? And that they can sometimes break down?? And that they are made of GOLD AND DIAMONDS??!!) I need those cheques so I can continuing living the lavish fashionista life I've become accustomed to (read: gourmet sweatpants). 

Hi! No, that's all right. Yes, that's me. Oh! Actually, I've moved. Yes, this is my new address. So I have this claim that -- no, I lost the -- no, I didn't know I needed a new doctor's note every 12 months for that.. I can get that.. yes, I know how to work the online form system-- can I just- ? yes, yes, thank you. *sigh* Sure, I'll hold. 

Oh good, Porgy and Bess' "Summertime".

So yes. Now I'm forced to save a little money here and there and let me tell you - that is NOT easy. I don't really go out clubbing (mostly because I've been informed that "da club can't handle this"), I don't smoke, i don't travel excessively so my vice really is shopping. This was made all the worse buy buying the house because now the things aren't for *me*, they're for the *house*. And the house likes vintage dresses. It told me.

The Boy and I don't have a joint account. He has his money, I have mine, and we pay our bills more or less right down the middle. He hasn't made me feel guilty about the stuff I choose to spend my spare money on and I don't bug him either. But it's kind of weighing on me lately. The space between the high I get after acquiring something new and the feeling of guilt at spending money is getting smaller and smaller. Plus, add to this the fact that I have more stuff than I can fit in our house already and it all starts to feel like too much. One of my favourite bloggers, Yentine, posted a few months back about how shopping can get out of control, how it can be even worse when you're a fashion blogger, because you are "expected" to show new things. It's a reason I don't use Pinterest. The last thing I need in my life is another outlet for my "want machine".

That being said, I've decided to head down to the 'States for Black Friday with my sister and my friend for some good ol' fashioned people watchin' and bargain huntin'. We'll mostly be there to buy some grocery items and christmas gifts and bask in the novelty of shopping at 3am with 1,000 agitated and over-stuffed Americans. I'm trying to curb much of my spending until then, to try and focus on things we actually need, like a new stove or a new couch. Or a puppy. Okay, maybe not a puppy. But, c'mon. We need a puppy.

Hello! Yes, great! The new address, that's fine. 9 business days...? Yes, yes, fine. Thank you. No, nothing further, thanks. Goodbye!

Well, great. 2 down, 1 to go. It may have taken a 1/2 hour off my life but on the plus side, I'm much more relaxed after that big band rendition of Smoke Gets in Your Eyes.

NaBloMoPoMeWroGo!

See that little thing in the right hand bar? Well that means you'll be seeing a lot more of me this month. ----->

(unless you are reading this from the future and it is no longer November 2012 - in which case, ignore the lack of graphic and answer the following: do my cyborg eyes look amazng? are food bloggers all talking about artisan, homegrown capsule pills?)

Okay, back to present-day. I've decided to do NaBloPoMo and annoy your faces every day in November. It's a good move for me because November has always been my least favourite month - it's grey, it's cold, it's dark and the only holiday the whole month commemorates sadness and death (and is accompanied by shaky seniors with blankets on their lap... i just don't know how i'm supposed to handle that kind of scene). So let's write about washi tape and peplums!! Yaaaay!

Let's see if I can last more than 4 days before I'm just posting reviews of stuff I find in my pantry.

But seriously, is there anything better than beef jerky? 4 stars.