Pwned

This post was supposed to go up last night but technical issues stopped that from happening. So now you get two posts in a day! You lucky so-and-so!

A solid, solid weekend. I got The Boy and The Sister to use their incredible height (and their superior ability to draw/see a straight line) to my advantage and hang a few things on the wall. As I began unpacking my penultimate box, which contains all the pictures that hung in my last apartment, I realized that, between the two of us, we own quite a few Killhouettes. Which, if you know us, is a surprise to pretty much no one. We decided to hang them up in our bedroom so that we have the world's sweetest dreams!* After discovering that it was, indeed, not our level that was busted, but rather the world's slopiest-walls that made lining them up such a bitch, we stepped back to see a wonderful little collage of death. Delighted!

Buoyed by our success, we went on to hang the picture I mentioned in my last post. We also hung this beauty that I picked up in Toronto, before heading to my uncle's place for my grandpappy's 93rd birthday. I have to admit, on the way over I was feeling pretty chuffed. The ol' place was really coming together, yes indeedy. All it took was a little time, some elbow grease and about 3 dozen screws and anchors and the place really was looking like my own. Quite the little renovators, we were. Yup-a-doo.

And then I saw my uncle's basement.

Inside the sub-woofer is a genie that will grant you unlimited wishes

Goddamnit.

He had turned an unfinished basement with concrete floor, open duct work and insulation-exposed walls into a mancave worthy of even the most discerning bro.** A 60" tv with 6 speakers (each for a different "type" of sound - voices, explosions, etc. I didn't know we were this advanced already? Have I been ignoring science? Is cancer still a thing?), resting on a unit that surrounds an electric fireplace. Finished walls, dropped ceilings, pot lighting, a sound system that's been routed through upstairs and can be volume controlled by a switch in the wall,  leather couches that vibrate and massage, leather rocking chairs, gym equipment and carpet so squishy-soft I think it's made out of the front page of Cute Overload. And the kicker? He did 80% of the work down there himself. Ah well, at least I have something to aspire to, right?

Goddamnit.



*of murder

**I tried to look up a mythological creature that was half-man, half-bear in order to make a bigger joke here but all i came up with was this Yahoo! answer which is okay because I laughed pretty heartily.

DIY (The D stands for "DaylightSavingsTime"

 So a few hours late for a daily post but it's Daylight Saving Time so ... okay I'm still late. But only an hour late - suck on it, Father time! The image to your left is the sum total of my sister's and my evening. I lack the small motor skills and inordinate patience required to be a true DIYer but she's got an eye for colour and an ability to talk me down off the ledge when I get halfway through something and insist on giving up.

The credit for the idea goes to Rachel of Smile and Wave who posted her version about a year ago here. I wanted a piece of art I could make for my spare room that was a little different and kind of colourful (all the walls in my house are artisan beige). We had thought about doing a regular rectangular frame but, forever looking for a challenge, we decided to do the more complicated oval. The frame is from IKEA, the background is paint swatches and the lettering is made of felt stickers from Michael's. So for about $25 (and 3 tough-on-the-back hours) I got me a new piece of art! It looks rougher in the photo than it does in real life- it's actually pretty straight. I'm quite pleased with how it turned out, actually.

Moving is stressful and we know it'll be something we'll have to do a fair amount of times over the years. I wanted something that could move with us that would sort of embody the idea of home being wherever you hang your hat. I took the line from Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros song "Home". And yes, I know, the line most oft repeated in the chorus is "Home is wherever I'm with you" but they do say whenever... and wherever looks weird hyphenated. So there.\

And now for an extra hour of back-cracking. So satisfying.

Muzak so soothing they call it Soothzak.

Well, I'm stuck on the phone, waiting to speak with my medical coverage company in order to get them to reissue a cheque. I'm going to blog until they pick up or until my neck freezes in the crooked position and I am forced to take up work as a circus performer ("come see pug head! the girl who tilts her head like a pug!"). I've already been on hold for 10 minutes and I don't see me getting out of muzak-purgatory any time soon. It's all really old-fashioned music, too - like stuff my grandparents would've danced to - and totally instrumental. And every few seconds it cuts out, cockteasing me into believing a human might actually be coming on line. Silly human - now back to Girl from Ipanema.

Switched shoulders. Cramping badly.

It should give you a good idea of how financially well-off I am that I'm willing to waste a significant portion of my morning listening to --

OH MY GOD A HUMAN!!

Hello! Yes, that's my plan. There's a dedicated line for my plan? Oh I didn't know.  Well could you answe-- Being transferred.

Ooh! "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered". Keen.

Anyway, in the craziness of moving I managed to misplace three cheques - one from the City (since found and cashed), one from the medical coverage company and one for my last month's rent on my apartment. As we covered in this post, I am to losing things what Mama June is to couponing so the fact that somehow they've gone missing should be no surprise but now that stupid house things keep coming up (did you know that it's not magic, that you actually need something called a FURNACE to heat a house? And that they can sometimes break down?? And that they are made of GOLD AND DIAMONDS??!!) I need those cheques so I can continuing living the lavish fashionista life I've become accustomed to (read: gourmet sweatpants). 

Hi! No, that's all right. Yes, that's me. Oh! Actually, I've moved. Yes, this is my new address. So I have this claim that -- no, I lost the -- no, I didn't know I needed a new doctor's note every 12 months for that.. I can get that.. yes, I know how to work the online form system-- can I just- ? yes, yes, thank you. *sigh* Sure, I'll hold. 

Oh good, Porgy and Bess' "Summertime".

So yes. Now I'm forced to save a little money here and there and let me tell you - that is NOT easy. I don't really go out clubbing (mostly because I've been informed that "da club can't handle this"), I don't smoke, i don't travel excessively so my vice really is shopping. This was made all the worse buy buying the house because now the things aren't for *me*, they're for the *house*. And the house likes vintage dresses. It told me.

The Boy and I don't have a joint account. He has his money, I have mine, and we pay our bills more or less right down the middle. He hasn't made me feel guilty about the stuff I choose to spend my spare money on and I don't bug him either. But it's kind of weighing on me lately. The space between the high I get after acquiring something new and the feeling of guilt at spending money is getting smaller and smaller. Plus, add to this the fact that I have more stuff than I can fit in our house already and it all starts to feel like too much. One of my favourite bloggers, Yentine, posted a few months back about how shopping can get out of control, how it can be even worse when you're a fashion blogger, because you are "expected" to show new things. It's a reason I don't use Pinterest. The last thing I need in my life is another outlet for my "want machine".

That being said, I've decided to head down to the 'States for Black Friday with my sister and my friend for some good ol' fashioned people watchin' and bargain huntin'. We'll mostly be there to buy some grocery items and christmas gifts and bask in the novelty of shopping at 3am with 1,000 agitated and over-stuffed Americans. I'm trying to curb much of my spending until then, to try and focus on things we actually need, like a new stove or a new couch. Or a puppy. Okay, maybe not a puppy. But, c'mon. We need a puppy.

Hello! Yes, great! The new address, that's fine. 9 business days...? Yes, yes, fine. Thank you. No, nothing further, thanks. Goodbye!

Well, great. 2 down, 1 to go. It may have taken a 1/2 hour off my life but on the plus side, I'm much more relaxed after that big band rendition of Smoke Gets in Your Eyes.

NaBloMoPoMeWroGo!

See that little thing in the right hand bar? Well that means you'll be seeing a lot more of me this month. ----->

(unless you are reading this from the future and it is no longer November 2012 - in which case, ignore the lack of graphic and answer the following: do my cyborg eyes look amazng? are food bloggers all talking about artisan, homegrown capsule pills?)

Okay, back to present-day. I've decided to do NaBloPoMo and annoy your faces every day in November. It's a good move for me because November has always been my least favourite month - it's grey, it's cold, it's dark and the only holiday the whole month commemorates sadness and death (and is accompanied by shaky seniors with blankets on their lap... i just don't know how i'm supposed to handle that kind of scene). So let's write about washi tape and peplums!! Yaaaay!

Let's see if I can last more than 4 days before I'm just posting reviews of stuff I find in my pantry.

But seriously, is there anything better than beef jerky? 4 stars.

Halloweekend

A house in a nearby neighbourhood - points off for no severed limbs.

Confession: I'm a huge fan of Halloween. Even growing up, autumn was always my favourite season and having a holiday in there that celebrated (for us non-wiccans, at least) fake blood, scary movies and type II diabetes-driven fun? So. Boss. The Boy and I had some errands to run on Saturday so we decided to strap on some warm boots, pack an umbrella and head out into our neighbourhood to get 'er done. And got 'er did, we done.

It's our first year owning a house so we decided to buy some treats in case some little ones happen by this weekend. But a combination of the "Frankenstorm" (or, more accurately, as a friend on Facebook pointed out, Dr. Frankenstorm's Monster), the relative demographics of our neighbourhood (young singles and couples, few kids) and the area of town we live in (the lovely park near our house becomes decidedly more.. sexy at night) ensure that I will, once again, be single-handedly consuming 2 bags of Crispy Crunch mini-bars. A fate I shall suffer through with cheerful good will.

We had the best intentions to go to a party this year, as we usually do, and show off our amazing (read: hilarious to only us) costumes but lack of foresight in actually reading a package's contents led us to not having the correct supplies to properly complete them. So, at 8pm we did what any quick-thinking and highly-motivated young couple would do - we watched The Grudge, ate a bag of chips and drank ourselves to sleep.

Halloweekend!

For a great collection of people a million times smarter than us chuckleheads, here's an amazing collection of witty, funny and often just plain dedicated costumes. 

Christmas is Coming

Yes, folks, only 2 months until Christmas. And yes, I'm *that* person, thanks for wondering.

Basically, the only reason I'm excited about the gingerbread and jingle bells creeping into my local supermarket is because each day brings me closer to the possibility of this being in my boyfriend's parents' house. So. Happy.

Of course, it would only be a placeholder for the much-too-expensive-but-totally-worth-it this , but that's okay. That's what dreams are for.

Autumn-eroticism

A Fall treat, in that it will cause you to "fall" into a diabetic coma.

Man, are bloggers ever horny for autumn. The last pair of white denim cutoffs gets put into storage after Labour Day and .. bam. It begins: pictures of pugs dressed up as bumblebees, hipsters switching out their "mojito-inspired" cocktails for some kind of Mayan hot chocolate spice shit, reasonable, level-headed people manage to publish entire 500-word missives detailing their love of all things burnt orange and cinnamoned. Unreal. I mean, it makes sense - fall is the perfect time for plaid and wool blankets and layering and a million other things beloved by bloggers. Besides, at least in this part of the world, it's freaking pretty. But still, people. Get it together. It's like they're obsessed. It's almost as though the season is so damned beautiful that it makes someone lose their mind temporarily as they gaze upon the utter beauty that is the changing, forever marching passage of time as personified by Gaia, the spirit Mother who..

And what the hell is this? A "mum-kin"?! Why did I buy this??
(Please at least try to ignore the massive jug of wine in the background)

Okay. Guilty. I love the hell out of Autumn. It's totally the best and if I had any stick-with-it-ness or ability to craft you'd all be getting DIY tips on making ghost pillowcases and apple-honey oatmeal. Luckily for you, I'm lazy and talentless.

Lately, I've been thinking about what it will be like to live in a city that doesn't have such an obvious change of seasons. My work requires that I move around a bit every few years and, while I haven't had the pleasure yet, it's only a matter of time before I have to move on to (given my latitude, probably literally) greener pastures. And I don't know, man. People like to crap on this city (after living downtown for a few years I now know that can also be taken literally) but I think it's tops.

Beautiful enough to give you chest flushes
and butt tingles, am I right?

And I don't know what I'm going to do without that chill in the air, that feeling like things are quieting down, that smell of fire and slight decay and home cooking as I walk through the neighbourhood, leaves crunching satisfyingly beneath my moccasins as I..

.. must.. post... homemade.. scarecrow.. teapot.. DIY...

Phew! Okay, better.

So for now I'm trying to enjoy every moment of "fall-ness", every blessed apple-cider soaked ounce of it all. Especially because it comes on the heels of a new place to decorate and a new roomie to share walks and pumpkin carving and beef stews with. And we will cherish these moments because I suspect the real reason anyone could ever dislike Autumn is because it runs into the hellmouth that is Winter. And then? Ain't no amount of Arctic prints or fair trade hot cocoa that's gonna save you. You will sneeze and shiver and regret your way right into April, child.